3 APPLES HIGH MY FOOT

Who was the person that decided that Smurfs were three apples tall.  I dont think they knew what they were talking about.  I was in the grocery store the other day and while in the produce, before being dragged out by security, I was stacking apples on the floor.  I was trying to stack them three apples high.  That is way too tall for a smurf I tells ya.  In fact I was yelling it in the produce department of the grocery store…. which comes to think of it, might explain why I was dragged out of the store kicking and screaming.  What kind of apples were they using?  Definitely not red delicious.  Maybe they meant crab apples and it just got lost in translation. I could possibly see them being three crab apples tall… maybe.

If the Smurfs were three three apples high then it made Gargamel”s hands huge.  And how the heck could he not find their village.  Ohhhh, it’s disguised as mushrooms in the forest.  There are mushrooms all in the forest so the village blends right in.  Of course we all know that they had plenty of head room and even a bedroom above which means…. the stem part of the mushroom house was between four or five apples high with the top at least four apples high.  That means the average Smurf mushroom was at least eight to ten apples high……THAT’S SOME FREAKIN’ BIG MUSHROOMS I TELLS YA!  How did Gargamel not notice these ginormous mushrooms in the forest?  Or anyone else for that matter.  The fact that the mushrooms had little doors and windows in them should have been a clue also.  Just saying.

I tells ya, if I was to catch the Smurfs coming on one of those nostalgic cartoon channels I would just stop what I was doing and watch it right then and there cause I love that freakin’ show….. even with it’s badly camouflaged ginormous mushroom houses.

The only thing that could be better of course would be Zombie Smurfs.

It’s in color even.  I’m a cartoonist…. web cartoonist even.  I draw and write around 10 humor titles, I write and draw a sci fi adventure title, I draw and co write horror comics, I even self publish a digital periodical that comes out three times a week by email free to subscribers and I self publish collection books that you can get the print or download copies HERE.  If you want to keep me drawing more and more funny pictures just buy a book… or two… or three or more and tell your friends about them too.  I have FOUR humor collection books, TWO horror graphic novels, & TWO Halloween humor specials available at that link.  Till next time , See ya in the funny pages.

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